My sister and Martino few months before his passing.
Today July 8th 2023 is the 2th anniversary of Martino’s death.
Death is such an interesting process. It’s my belief that, it is the most empowering one when we have the courage to process it.
It took me so much to process Martino’s death.
And i know there’s still something i am not yet getting into for fear.
For instance, it has been more natural to process Fabio’s passing then his.
Many of you can resonate. The death of your dog, that hairy son, your best friend, your life companion, that unconditional love, is hard.
Martino died one year and one month after Fabio’s death, I was not ready for another loss of that size.
My body couldn’t take it.
Too much pain in such a short amount of time.
I procrastinated on seating with my immense pain to process his death.
It’s also my belief that, every single soul on this planet decides when to leave, for unexplainable reasons for the ones who remain here.
I truly trust that. And as I am familiar with death and her meaning, I can guarantee you that, if you look at it with the eyes of curiosity, it’s possible to find lessons, meanings and especially reasons in every death experience.
I know Martino left us, me and my family, who adores him, at the right time for him and for us.
His death dictated the beginning of a new process of healing and becoming in our family, as collective, and as individuals.
It made us better and more conscious beings.
The universe gave me the possibility to take care of him for the last 6 months of his life, which was a big amount of time, I am deep grateful for, to be with him, since previously I was in America and not able to take care of him full time.
Martino was my dog, but he was like me: a nomad, a vagabond, a curious heart. He liked freedom, he had a big personality and a huge ego. He has been raised by all of us, my mom, who was his slave, my sister who was his sister, my dad who was his fav sitter and butler, and me, who, I was more of his wife than his owner.
He wanted power and control; and he would have never accepted any form of dominion. He was not the typical dog who licks you all of the time or who is willing to please you.
Not at all.
He was tough and strong, and incredibly fun.
Sweet only with the people he liked.
A provocateur with all of the rest.
He liked to tease others and he wanted to be treated with respect.
He had a beautiful masculine energy mixed with a sense of protection and a confident personality.
He was a leader.
He had an opinion on everything and he would express it no matter what.
He was unpredictable and absolutely brilliant on gaining others attention.
His personality reminds me a lot of me.
Martino, called “Budino” by us (because he used to move like a fluffy budino), was the only dog, I have ever seen, who wanted to be fed by hands and begged, by my mom, to finsh the meal. Who would yell at the traffic lights because was too impatient to wait. Who would drink from the sink of the bidè refusing any bowl of water.
I haven’t watched Martino’s pictures and videos for long time, I couldn’t listen to songs that would remind me of him, I couldn’t open his box, look at his ashes, or go to the places where we use to go together for so long.
Having experienced death in the past years has taught me a lot:
– Death is not the end, it’s a cycle of life. It’s the beginning of something new for the soul who leaves the body dimension and moves forward; and it’s the beginning of a new cycle of life for who stays on this planet, keep living a body/ sould experience.
Souls don’t die, they grow, and they never abandon us. They, actually, speaks and make their appearance, in our lives, in a funny and creative way, with consistency, if we are open to receive their presence.
– Death needs to be celebrated, with tears and with joy. I have learned on my skin that in the depth of the most devastating pain, it’s possible to find gratitude and peace. To feel pain and joy.
So i am here to honor my baby boy death anniversary.
It’s my way to remind him, and myself, that love never dies.
And to show my gratitude for the 9 years spent together, for everything he taught me, for the support he gave me during the most difficult time of my life, and, of course, for all of the fun!
Marti and I flirting in the car
When Martino died, me and my family, decided to cremate him. He shared this journey with another animal, since the oven was a big one. It was a beautiful black cat.
Afterwards, (but also one week before his death), i used to see so many black cats coming over to me, on my car ceiling, at the airport sat next to me, crossing the street i would walk, and now i know that, black cats are the way Martino reminds me that he’s still with me.
Martin Martino you are unconditionally and eternally loved,
Your mama,
Xx